Thursday, January 3, 2008

A little confession

One of the things that disgusts me is when I start fantasizing about my friends. Mostly, I fantasize about handsome strangers, but occasionally my thoughts stray to those I care about. I suppose in a way it could be flattering because sex is one way to express affection for someone. However, in this situation, such expression would destroy families, inspire guilt, and do much more harm than those few minutes of pleasure. This is one of my reasons I've never told any of my friends. I don't want them to ask if I fantasize about them or have them constantly wondering if I'm checking them out or have any ulterior motives for my actions.

It happened again the other night when I had a couple of friends over to watch a movie. I looked over and those thoughts hit. I want to enjoy being with guy friends and not worry about SSA. Mostly that's true and I don't think about SSA when being with friends, but there are times when I can't block those thoughts. Fortunately, I've never acted on them with another man.

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