A friend and I were recently watching "The Incredible Hulk." Not the most intellectually challenging movie that I've ever seen, but it was fun. There's a scene where Ed Norton in in the shower and has a flashback to being shot at while being the Hulk. He falls down into the tub and his whole side is showing. My friend makes a comment that the last thing he needed to see was Ed Norton's but. Inwardly I groaned because first it was his side, not his rear end, and second, why are we socially trained to either be disgusted by another man's body or be attracted to it? Personally, the nude scene had no real impact on me. Anyway, I didn't go into that with my friend. We were watching a brainless action movie. Perhaps the opportunity to discuss this with him will come up again. In fact, this is one friend whom I've considered telling about my SSA.
5 comments:
I had a similar thought occur to me when watching Will Smith's shower scene in I, Robot. I know most guys would've been disgusted by it, and I leaned more the other way, but I thought about what you've just said here, at the time. Why can't it just be a "hm." moment, where you notice and move on?
I think there are several factors at work here, larger than what might initially spring to mind.
1. Yes, latent homophobia remains rampant.
2. The last 30 years have seen a huge upswing in Victorian-style prudishness among American men generally.
3. Many American men now believe it is "gay" to be even partly undressed in the company of other men, e.g. wholesale refusal of guys under 30 to shower at school, maniacal "towel dances" in locker rooms when there's no way around changing clothes in front of someone else.
4. Something has persuaded American guys that even seeing any part of another guy's body which is normally clothed is a gay sexual thing. A generation ago nobody would have batted an eye. Now guys like your friend get all hot & bothered.
5. America's obsession with privacy, combined with the increasing sexualization of everything in the media, are largely at fault. These contradictory attitudes have seriously messed up a lot of guys, who would not be able to logically explain why they react they way your friend did and would probably get very uncomfortable if asked to try, because internally they would sense the contradiction.
Good job, Satan. Distort even virtues like modesty into something sexualized, take innocence away and make even macho guys afraid of each other for no reason. Sheesh.
You're all exactly right. I've been totally perplexed at the way men have responded to an increasingly more acceptance of gay people. More than ever, it's totally uncool to be gay, as much as the media would lead us to believe otherwise.
I just went through all of your posts. I don't think you mention that your wife doesn't know about your SGA in any of your posts. Anyway, you are so much like me in so many ways that it's unbelievable - at least as far as being gay married Mormen men. How old are you?
Forester: I'm 32 and married with kids. My email is in my profile if you're comfortable with that. I'll be more specific and would like to get to know you better.
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