tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-91836872215160845192011-11-28T14:13:39.553-08:00Another mohomie who needs a voice...Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.comBlogger581100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-7310474353247574622011-11-23T20:32:00.001-08:002011-11-23T20:43:48.378-08:00

I started a list a few days ago of things I'm thankful for that have come about because I'm attracted to men.  For awhile, that was very hard to see anything positive.  I then went to a support group meeting, and that was the question we all had to answer at the end.  It was great hearing more than 30 guys express gratitude for being gay.  That was a turning point.  I've been feeling a bit better

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-13997255299297724582011-11-03T13:40:00.000-07:002011-11-03T13:40:45.779-07:00

I was asked today by someone else, who also is attracted to men, but single, if I get enough support. He was specifically curious about whether being married helped. First, to tackle the support issue, I have my wife, I have a few close friends who know what’s going on (one of whom is now my bishop), I attend occasionally a support group in Los Angeles that meets monthly, I’ve made some new

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-29221735304295244472011-10-28T17:12:00.000-07:002011-11-08T16:29:18.544-08:00

I went running earlier this week with a friend of mine who knows I'm attracted to guys.  It had been awhile, so after the run, we talked for a bit to catch up.  He wanted to know how my wife and I are doing.  Then he asked me something funny.  "You know how guys like a certain part of a woman?  What's your favorite part of a guy?"  I was stunned he would actually ask me that.  He said he was

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-14171860860490990142011-10-17T10:50:00.000-07:002011-10-17T10:50:54.408-07:00

I'm sitting at work this morning with a bunch of mixed up emotions.  This weekend was interesting for me.  During the week prior, I was feeling a bit low.  I was (and am still) dealing with a cold, feeling distant from friends, not confident in my relationship with my wife, and the omnipresent stress about finances.  So I goofed and looked at images I should not have a couple of times. With

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-5867389341191769512011-09-24T01:39:00.001-07:002011-09-24T01:39:08.805-07:00

My wife is at a slumber party tonight. I guess those don't go out of fashion for the girls. So I rented Brokeback Mountain. I already knew the story, but to see it was amazing. I wept, and I don't cry except for funerals. I needed that so badly I didn't even know. The last couple of weeks have been rocky between us. I think though that we've worked some stuff out. We're coming up on a year

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-37248127207010731072011-09-01T11:11:00.000-07:002011-09-01T11:12:59.803-07:00

I always appreciate Robert Kirby's point of view. Here's his take on all the chatter about Mitch Mayne: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/lifestyle/52494665-80/gay-bishop-bishopric-mormon.html.csp

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-56571422731295446882011-07-21T13:15:00.000-07:002011-07-21T13:48:12.589-07:00

I have been by myself for a few days. The family is on vacation and will be back on Monday. I thought that I would take some time for myself and do some reflecting, perhaps even post on this blog or journal. Instead, I have been working, exercising and watching movies. Those are all good things too.I just haven't been processing or progressing. I am sort of just stuck in the moment, not really

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-74939565040746402782011-07-10T15:12:00.000-07:002011-07-10T15:19:44.586-07:00

I am now in a new place with respect to the church. I've never told a church leader about my attractions. I was contemplating it as another one of my kids is coming up on baptism age. I want to be square with God. That choice is out of my hands now. My friend whom I first told about being gay is now my bishop. He was sustained today. He already knows all about me, so there's no choosing to keep

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-38964812075521976832011-05-24T13:17:00.000-07:002011-05-24T13:21:55.077-07:00

Below is a series of clips from the Catherine Tate show, which aired in the U.K. a few years ago. It's like the Carol Burnett show used to be with lots of skits, but a bit raunchy because it is British after all. In this series, Catherine Tate plays a mother whose son just came out to her. He's worried that she won't accept him. Well, that's not the problem. In fact, she's a little too

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-60254501320026271302011-04-29T09:29:00.000-07:002011-04-29T09:36:51.584-07:00

Last one. I didn't bother commenting on all the remaining rules. They're too many, and I thought being a guy was supposed to be simple!Article 71: As a courtest to Bros the world over, a Bro never brings more than two other Bros to a party. [I’m happy if I can get two friends to agree to do anything at the same time.]Article 72: A Bro never spell-checks. [Better plan on working at Wal-Mart for

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-84564594971063307932011-04-28T09:20:00.000-07:002011-04-28T09:23:57.911-07:00

Article 31: When on the prowl, a Bro hits on the hottest chick first because you just never know [Not prowling]Article 32: A Bro doesnt allow another Bro to get married until hes at least thirty [None of my business]Article 33 When in a public restroom, a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when using the urinal; (2) makes the obligatory comment, "What is this, a chicks' restroom?" if there are more

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-40197743110938697442011-04-27T13:58:00.000-07:002011-04-27T14:00:49.246-07:00

Evidently there was some NBA scandal this weekend. I saw the headline and had to look. Two ball players held hands for a few seconds walking into the locker room. I thought it was a little weird, but not scandalous. Then I read one of the players is Brazilian, and so it was not so weird anymore. I served my mission in Brazil. They are a more friendly and passionate people than Americans are.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-55474578797202469742010-12-22T11:43:00.001-08:002010-12-22T11:44:36.394-08:00

I was at the gym this morning on the elliptical machine when President Obama came on the news to sign the repeal of the DADT policy. At that moment, En Vogues' "Free Your Mind" started playing on my MP3 player. That was pretty cool.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-4525528916939973882010-12-14T17:31:00.000-08:002010-12-14T17:36:37.939-08:00

WANTED: A New Friend.DESCRIPTION:MaleGreat smileSpontaneously hugs othersCalls just becauseDrops by to visit just becauseNotices when your male friends take an extra effort to look goodWilling to try something newNot afraid to ask a friend if there's something wrongWilling to put your arm around your friends for more than .3 secondsListensI do have good friends, but sometimes I wish my friends

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-60328846319522020592010-12-02T12:40:00.000-08:002010-12-02T12:59:25.135-08:00

It's coming on two months since I came out to my wife. Generally we are coping fine. It's stressful, but we're falling back into our normal routines. I guess part of that is good, but perhaps not what we are looking for. My wife wants me to be more open, and I want her to be more accepting. I don't quite feel safe sharing everything with her, like the fact that I've been feeling particulary

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-87962792317990721002010-10-11T09:12:00.000-07:002010-10-11T09:17:44.618-07:00

Yes, I love the Old Spice commercials with the guy spouting off random things. Anyway, this link takes you to the Sesame Street spoof of those commercials with Grover. Very funny.http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/94062?fp=1I wasn't feeling well this weekend, so I watched a lot of TV and movies. I happened to watch both versions of Clash of the Titans. Not that the story is all that impressive,

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-33648863836138686692010-10-04T11:56:00.000-07:002010-10-04T12:12:11.608-07:00

What a crazy and emotional weekend. My wife and I finally had a fairly quiet evening to ourselves once we got the sick kids to bed late. I opened up to my wife. That was so hard. She was in shock. I generally think the conversation went well. It was not easy for me to speak the words or for her to hear them that I am attracted to guys. I had to apologize for a few things, and try to let

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-23982026912099903792010-09-18T20:23:00.000-07:002010-09-18T20:39:30.254-07:00

I have been very silent as of late for those few of you who are pay attention to this blog. I can't say why exactly. In part it's because I'm just trying to live my life and appreciate what I have. In part it's also because life has been stressful. Part of that stress is now gone. My wife and I can now move on past that particular problem. Now my particular dilemma is coming to the forefront. Now

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-34281391687007006372010-06-17T17:37:00.001-07:002010-06-17T17:38:38.901-07:00

Recent events:· I taught a lesson on having a broken heart and a contrite spirit to the priests on Sunday. Basically, the lesson is to remind ourselves to be open to God and his instructions. I wonder if I have such an attitude. I don’t trust my leaders to share with them my attractions. So where do I get my instructions if not from church or do I have hard heart?· After

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-84325685091320431932010-05-21T22:06:00.000-07:002010-05-21T22:08:10.029-07:00

I don't know why specifically, but I'm just feeling really lonely tonight. My wife is with friends, which is good, but she hasn't done that in awhile. At the last minute, I tried to get a guy friend to come over, but nothing panned out. I really wish had that physical and emotional connection with a guy. Oh well, instead I get to spend more time on the computer.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-75779047181266314102010-05-03T17:25:00.000-07:002010-05-03T17:27:18.934-07:00

Here's part 1:http://bycommonconsent.com/2010/04/30/zeitcast-3-9-0-part-1/Here's part 2:http://bycommonconsent.com/2010/04/30/bcc-zeitcast-3-9-1-part-2/This guy left the church a long time ago, before coming out of the closet. He has interestingly remained a friend of the church and has some great insights.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-14993063321360374392010-04-26T17:41:00.001-07:002010-04-26T17:41:24.123-07:00

Generally life is good, and I deal with my attractions to other men okay. It’s hard though when I wake up to an incredibly vivid sexual dream of being with another man. So, I slowly wake up and go through a series of strong emotions of longing, sadness, and guilt, among others. Then I see my smiling kids and hug my wife, and life is good again. However, on those days, there’s always a little

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-69199886039663257632010-04-08T13:10:00.000-07:002010-04-08T13:12:39.902-07:00

"I prefer my queers flaming..."Okay, I wanted to turn to this guy and say, "sorry to disappoint.". I didn't, but I chuckled a little to myself.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-82616772429515615072010-04-04T11:16:00.000-07:002010-04-04T11:25:00.278-07:00

I took a positive step I think in dealing with my attractions. I actually told a friend what I was going through. It wasn't easy because I'm generally very private. Now someone in my life now and not just those who occasionally read this blog. The conversation went well, but I found myself not being nearly as articulate with my feelings as I am when I write them down. Anyway, he was not judging

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-71245785681342623752010-03-11T11:54:00.001-08:002010-03-11T11:58:11.282-08:00

I passed the tabloids at the grocery store yesterday and noticed one said Marie Osmond's son committed suicidie because he was gay. I googled it and could not find any credible news source that picked up on that. However, I did find an article that Roseanne Barr criticized the Osmonds and the Church for being anti-gay, which caused Marie's son's suicide. Anyone heard whether he really was gay?

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-85207074742735475432010-03-10T20:13:00.000-08:002010-03-10T20:30:03.703-08:00

I think back to times when I've been alone with a good friend and how I wished the conversation or circumstances would have turned more intimate, not sexual, but something more. What I mean is I wish for a back rub, a cuddle, a lingering embrace, or a shirtless hug, something along those lines. I imagine those scenarios over and over again in my head. Yet when circumstances allow me to be with

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-25478394506149062862010-03-09T13:24:00.000-08:002010-03-09T13:27:18.584-08:00

I read an article about a case going up to the Supreme Court that concerns the free speech of religious groups who protest at military funerals. Specifically, the protest comes from a reverend and his church followers that appear at the funeral services of fallen servicemen and carry signs that blame the deaths of our military of the U.S. government’s acceptance of gays and lesbians to serve. One

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-54559558673387459542010-02-25T17:26:00.001-08:002010-02-25T17:26:50.679-08:00

I’ve had several thoughts on blog topics from the lawsuits in Britain to remove the criminal history of gay men prosecuted in the 50s and 60s for having consensual sex, to manscaping, and to my lack of the sports gene. Instead, I want to share a couple of experiences from the gym. Maybe I’ll get to the other topics later. Anyway, I was standing at the sink, shaving. This young guy comes up

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-10761793271979690882010-02-18T09:30:00.000-08:002010-02-19T09:24:17.437-08:00

Below is a link to some pictures of guys at the Olympics who were embracing that NBC has labeled "bromances." It's fun.#olympic+bromances

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-56870251065540588712010-01-21T17:27:00.000-08:002010-01-21T18:11:43.036-08:00

In some of my self-examination, I've been thinking over the last week or two what the role of gays are in our theology. I've read a lot of people's personal views on the interpretation of the story of Sodom and Gomorrah and how the original Hebrew does not necessarily support the idea that it was destroyed for homosexuality. Instead, the destruction occurred because the people lacked

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-31087308918361191492010-01-12T13:00:00.000-08:002010-01-12T13:56:12.469-08:00

It's time to address the themes proposed by Abelard about when did I know and where I am on my journey. They are really just different aspects of the story of my life.When Did I Know?I do not recall a specific instance where I said to myself, "holy crap, I'm gay!" That realization slowly dawned on me about 6 or 7 years ago. In some ways, it's still dawning on me. To start I should say that I'm

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-8046443948931700172010-01-08T16:41:00.000-08:002010-01-08T16:51:18.192-08:00

In the spirit of trying to be more open and sharing my inner gay thoughts, I'll share what some random, not very important thoughts I had today.I went to a new store in a mall that attracts many of the well-to-do and fashionable people here in southern California. Oh and even though it's January, the mall was packed. Anyway, as I sat eating lunch before going over the store I wanted to, I sat

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-88302543148204167522010-01-04T17:35:00.000-08:002010-01-04T17:48:22.742-08:00

I realize that I haven't been using this blog experience as much as could be helpful to me. I'm been emotionally flat and withdrawn for awhile. I don't feel like me so much anymore. Mostly, it's dawned on me that I really don't know or have any connection with the other bloggers I follow. Beck has been blogging for a long time and I love his posts. His thoughts are so poignant and insightful

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-26446841431535998152009-12-04T10:50:00.001-08:002009-12-04T10:57:37.618-08:00

I haven't posted on this blog in months. Partially, it's because I've been very busy at work. Also, I've just been ignoring this aspect of my life. I have been occasionally skimming blog posts from those whom I follow. But mostly I've just been focused on living my life. Generally, that's been okay. I've had some successes at work, and I've spent time accomplishing some things in my

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-53143683704730089572009-09-25T23:24:00.000-07:002009-09-25T23:34:21.470-07:00

Through a couple of Facebook contacts, I connected with someone I had completely forgotten about from middle school. I have seen or heard from him since the end of 9th grade. In fact, I had pretty much forgotten he existed. What was strange was that when I realized who it was and saw his picture, I became very excited. I almost couldn't stop thinking out him during the day. That feeling has

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-22098860185504550712009-09-03T08:31:00.000-07:002009-09-03T08:44:18.200-07:00

My wife and I attended a presentation by a LDS psychologist last night. It was okay. Most of the material was fairly general and it wasn't always clear where the good doctor was going with his presentation, which I found ironic being that the topic was "communication." In any event, he did mention a couple of things that I did find interesting. First, he mentioned that studies by BYU and

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-60289406461713694412009-09-02T09:16:00.000-07:002009-09-02T09:27:43.733-07:00

I stopped by Deseret Book yesterday. There's only one in town, and I rarely am in that part of town. I was looking specifically for something to encourage me to study my scriptures more, but mostly found books that just regurgitate the usual sunday school answers. I'm really interested in the Hugh Nibley books, but they have not been printed in paperback, and are quite expensive. Maybe I'll start

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-33839328365709216592009-07-31T13:38:00.000-07:002009-07-31T13:43:53.957-07:00

This is an interesting post by someone sharing thoughts about disagreement with a stake president's decision to excommunicate a gay, single mormon but not excommunicate a husband who committed adultery.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-78698408194387835102009-07-14T11:19:00.001-07:002009-07-14T11:19:58.812-07:00

Is Mormon theology diverging into new directions?Posted using ShareThis

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-1428520095785046112009-06-21T21:51:00.000-07:002009-06-21T22:19:40.014-07:00

My wife was out of town this weekend so I rented Milk. I generally follow the advice of the church leaders to avoid R-rated shows, but I wanted to see this one. What I learned is that I don't have a lot in common with the gay community. While I can no longer deny attractions to other men, I don't feel that I belong in that community at all. I want a friend to care for me and to be so in tune

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-37593032399710688082009-04-15T16:08:00.000-07:002009-04-15T16:11:27.267-07:00

I'm not very original in coming up with original blog posts. I'm usually so busy with work and family, that I don't take a lot of time for the blog. Anyway, the following is a response to another blogger's post about whether he should try kissing a guy when he's married. Below is my response. I guess I'm having a good day because lately I've had some confirmations that affirm my choices I've

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-52139476848359171622009-03-24T13:08:00.000-07:002009-03-24T13:22:09.624-07:00

I went away for the weekend to attend a family get together. While I was away, I got together with a good friend of mine for a couple of hours. I love this friend like a brother. While traveling, I thought about how to work into a conversation with him some of the reasons I think there are a lot of gays. Specifically, I wanted to discuss the push in society to become disgusted with other male

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-24691481363883082009-03-18T08:28:00.000-07:002009-03-18T08:32:23.141-07:00

I've been wondering what to post about for awhile. I have thoughts during the day but don't often get a chance to put them down in writing before I've forgotten what it was. I received an email from someone asking for advice about dating and what I experienced while dating. This was my response:Thanks for the email. I fell in love with a good friend who I'd known for a long time. That's

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-55886894421840970022009-02-11T08:12:00.000-08:002009-02-11T08:31:26.128-08:00

A friend and I were recently watching "The Incredible Hulk." Not the most intellectually challenging movie that I've ever seen, but it was fun. There's a scene where Ed Norton in in the shower and has a flashback to being shot at while being the Hulk. He falls down into the tub and his whole side is showing. My friend makes a comment that the last thing he needed to see was Ed Norton's but.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-3923555498042840972009-01-29T14:12:00.000-08:002009-01-29T14:27:49.774-08:00

My temple recommend is about to expire. I wonder at this time when I schedule my interview what my answers to the recommend questions really mean to me. I find it interesting that the questions are really just yes and no answers without any explanation. I feel that my answers should be, "yes but...." or "no but...." Maybe it's a good thing that we don't have to explain. I remember when I

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-40850663657293600542009-01-26T17:14:00.000-08:002009-01-26T17:19:35.211-08:00

I've been through a lot the last few months and have not dedicated any time to blogging. I've occasionally checked up on fellow mohomies' blogs, but haven't left any comments. It's time to blog again. I don't have anyone to talk to about this aspect of my life, and so this blog helps some. I committed myself to resuming this blog as one of my New Year's resolutions. For now, that's all I have

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-3725221101234305832008-08-11T12:40:00.000-07:002008-08-11T13:09:40.396-07:00

Well, the donation forms have gone around church twice now. My wife and I have discussed the issue some, but have not reached a conclusion on what level of support to give. She was with a friend this week, whose husband is bishop of the ward we used to attend. They discussed the issues some and boiled them down to whether one believes the directive from the First Presidency to support

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-34776655500543105072008-07-28T13:19:00.000-07:002008-07-28T13:28:52.790-07:00

For the first time, I’m a bit uncomfortable with something said over the pulpit. I’m in California, and the Church is part of a coalition of many churches participating in the campaigning for Proposition 8, which would amend the California constitution to define a marriage as between a man and a woman. I believe this proposition was in the works anyway, but with the recent California Supreme

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-80631259468012549882008-07-25T15:00:00.000-07:002008-07-25T15:26:15.680-07:00

My kids have a book by Dr. Seuss called, “My Many Colored Days.” It describes how each day can be a bit different and reflective of a color. Near the end, it says that some days the colors are all mixed up and “I don’t know who or what I am.” That’s the way I often feel. There are many parts to me and they don’t all seem to mesh well. I find myself wishing that I could pick one and make that

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-29250325761601573352008-04-03T18:03:00.000-07:002008-04-03T18:13:30.978-07:00

I started a new job a few weeks back, and though while I'm busier, I'm happier. I'm fitting in and feeling like I'm accomplishing something each day. I did not have that feeling at my last job. The boredom and lack of responsibility at my last job really weighed down on me and didn't help the SSA.During the last few weeks, I've definitely hungered for the touch of another man. None of my guy

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-69439876767810368812008-03-04T11:31:00.000-08:002008-03-04T12:13:36.002-08:00

Am I rotten?One struggle that I think many of us Latter-day Saints who experience SSA have is grappling with the question of the nature and source of these feelings. Am I attracted to men because God made me so? If so, why did He create something that feels so right but is so wrong according to our doctrine? I guess the question is one of degree. No one is perfect. We each experience those

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-24982228096990181762008-02-08T12:39:00.000-08:002008-02-08T12:48:25.128-08:00

I was almost to work this morning when I noticed a window decal in the car next to mine. It was of an angel. The interesting thing about the angel was that it had a black eye. I think if I make it to heaven, that's how I'll feel.

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-38747289261301463272008-02-05T17:09:00.000-08:002008-02-05T17:21:52.201-08:00

My path is unclear. The steps I should take to better my life are unclear.I recall from a young age being encouraged to think independently and to try to solve the problems in society instead of letting someone else solve them for me. I haven't been doing much of that.Life is strange and demanding. I find myself grateful to just get through work, help around the house, and enjoy an hour or two of

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-46153261312347298492008-01-15T09:00:00.001-08:002008-01-24T09:12:29.582-08:00

This article was emphasized at our stake conference last week. It's interesting for one of the Apostles to encourage the use of a blog. I don't mind so much posting on this one because I keep it anonymous and don't add much in the way of personal details. I am concerned about cyber-predators and have not yet reached a level of comfort of sharing a lot of personal details to anyone with

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-20075043264068766672008-01-14T17:49:00.000-08:002008-01-14T17:49:20.978-08:00

As I was driving home from seeing a movie the other night, I was struck by how sometimes I can feel the plight of the fictional characters and sense their pain. It maybe fake and some director designed the scene to tug at one's emotions, but it made me understand a little about how the Savior can comprehend our struggles. I almost came to tears (which I hardly ever do) in the car thinking about

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-56734077461491928362008-01-03T17:12:00.000-08:002008-01-03T17:29:06.466-08:00

One of the things that disgusts me is when I start fantasizing about my friends. Mostly, I fantasize about handsome strangers, but occasionally my thoughts stray to those I care about. I suppose in a way it could be flattering because sex is one way to express affection for someone. However, in this situation, such expression would destroy families, inspire guilt, and do much more harm than

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-50841801420384095872007-12-27T16:47:00.000-08:002007-12-27T17:01:41.757-08:00

I'm not sure why, but I crave physical contact with other men, but mostly when I'm alone or bored. When I'm with my friends, the issue rarely even crosses my mind. I read Forester's(http://gaymormononedge.blogspot.com/) recent blog post about how he experiences some regret about telling a friend he was gay and how his friend is somewhat uncomfortable with being close. Perhaps that's one of the

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183687221516084519.post-38174297786047823792007-12-12T20:27:00.000-08:002007-12-12T20:39:48.406-08:00

It's time for me to join the blogger world. I found the world of fellow Mormons who suffer from SSA about a year ago. I've been following some of the blogs, but never posted on the blogs. I listed some of my favorites. After a few bad days, I realized how lonely I am. I haven't told anybody, except for a few people on the Disciples 2 Yahoo! group. I decided today that I need a voice and a

Criscohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13138524446101772379noreply@blogger.com2